Second Chance
by DriveStraight
Summary: "You're a joke Malfoy, I had you pegged at eleven and I should have stuck to my guns." Ron had appeared in the door way.  Draco rolled onto his back again; he looked at the ceiling. "I told you that the first night we kissed" ...
1. Chapter 1

Draco's head snapped up as he heard the door above him slam shut. He had spent all night working in his basement. The potion he had been stirring hissed angrily at the second of neglect, it required constant stirring, it was the sole reason Draco had chosen it, sixteen hours of manually mixing a potion had been exactly what he needed to keep from going insane while waiting for his lover to come home. It was now two am and from the force the door had been closed at Draco feared that time had not cleared Rons head.

With a flick of his wand he set the potion stirring itself and he stood stiffly, wiping his tired eyes and giving a moments glance to his outfit of jeans now stained with potion ingredients and a white shirt that was creased beyond repair, its sleeves rolled up and its top three buttons open Draco gave the distant impression of a man who had just had a either a really good or a really bad night…. Unfortunately it was the latter.

Flinching at the sound of stomping footsteps above him Draco turned and slowly climbed the stairs leading to the hallway of his and Ron Weaslys house. A hallway that was now empty. Draco Malfoy had earned himself a reputation in the last year of the war of being an exceptionally brave man, Draco never felt it was deserved and it was in moments like this that he knew it wasn't. He was a coward, the only reason he had charged into the battle field was because the alternative was worse. That was not bravery it was just sense and right now as he stood staring at the door of the kitchen in front of him he dearly wished there was another battle field to charge… for the second time in his life it would be the easier choice.

He pushed the door open and saw Ron furiously struggling with the plastic wrapping on a pack of muggle cigarettes, he finally succeeded in ripping it off and the deftly opened the inner packet and had a lit smoke in his mouth so fast it could have been mistaken for magic. Draco knew it was just the speed ex smokers acquired when feeling what he knew Ron felt at this moment.

"I thought you quit" Draco ventured as way of alerting Ron to his presence.

Inhaling deeply Ron lifted his head and looked squarely at Draco "mmm... and I thought you promised not to fuck anyone but me, looks like we're both filthy liars doesn't it" he spat

Draco looked like he'd been punched in the gut, but smoothed out his face as quickly as he could and kept eye contact with Ron who continued smoking and observed Draco like he was something mildly interesting on the television.

The silence was broken by Draco clearing his throat followed by him asking "drink?" he whispered the word and it came out thick, like it took a lot of effort for him to push it forth without tears following it.

Ron nodded.

Draco swished his wand and a decanter of fire whisky flew from the nearby drinks cabinet followed by two crystal glasses. The whisky poured itself and the two glasses once full distributed themselves to each man. Ron plucked the glassed from the air, threw the drink back in one swallow and then stared at the glass in his hand, his eyes flicked up to Draco's who was yet to take his off Ron.

"Couldn't have used different glasses? Had to pick the engagement gift from mum…you're sicker than I thought….you enjoying this are you?"

Draco put his whisky down on the counter un drunk and took a step towards Ron frantically shaking his head

"No! Ron, I didn't think … I …I"

Ron closed his eyes and pressed his body back into the cupboards he's been leaning against clearly trying to put as much space between his fiancé and him, consciously or not he had also raised his empty glass slightly as if readying himself to throw it if necessary. Draco stopped and put his hands up like a man approaching a wounded animal.

"I'm sorry…I…I..….can't fix this, I know that, but I wanted to be here when you got back just in case you wanted something….I don't know what….I thought you deserved to kick me out I guess…Ten minutes and I'm gone…"

he turned to go back through the kitchen door and walked slowly up the staircase leading to their bedroom, it was only when he got through the door and was sitting on their large bed, that he allowed his head to drop into his hands and took a huge shuddering breath, the sobs came out like stabs of a knife, hard, sharp and unrelenting. Four minutes thought Draco; I will give myself four minutes to cry and then the next six are for getting the hell out of here. The sobs shook his body and he winced in pain as he jostled ribs which he knew were cracked but he could not stop, not till his four minutes were up.

"Arrrgh" he cried out against the agony he felt in his chest both physical and emotional, he flopped back onto the bed and turned onto his stomach where he buried his head in his pillow muffling the moans and sobs.

"You're a joke Malfoy, I had you pegged at eleven and I should have stuck to my guns." Ron had appeared in the door way with a fresh glass of whisky half drunk in his hand.

Draco rolled onto his back again; he looked at the ceiling.

"I told you that the night we first kissed….I said, "what the fuck are you playing at ginger, this is a war, you're a hero and I'm a joke, go snog potter, it would be more fitting" you laughed at me…. bet you wished you'd listened now eh? "

He heard Ron step further into the room "do you know what the worst bit of this is?" he asked ignoring Draco's question "I know exactly why you did this, you like to think you've got this whole bit of your brain hidden away, you like to forget that I saw it all,"

Draco had jerked himself upwards, gasping in pain, he tried to recover himself enough to get off the bed while wiping at his face

"I'm leaving, I'm sorry, forever sorry, I'll leave you alone I swear" he muttered scooting himself to the edge of the bed, only to reach it and be violently shoved backwards by Ron. Draco cried out in pain and clutched at his sides.

Ron stared at him until Draco unscrewed his eyes and looked back at him.

"You said you stayed in case I wanted anything, well I want you to lay there and listen to what I have to say"

Draco closed his eyes again and whimpered in response but made no further move to leave.

"good…" said Ron, he pulled out his wand and summoned the chair by the window to him, Ron pulled it to the foot of the bed and sat upon it, the two men only illuminated by moon light, Draco lying clearly in pain on the bed and Ron sitting almost casually looking at him made an odd sight.

"How many died?" Ron threw the question out as though asking for the quidditch score "We counted once, do you remember? How many people on both sides died because of what you did?"

Draco's head thrashed from side to side, but his lips remained sealed.

"you were a kid, we all were, but I always thought you got the worst deal, playing double agent, giving over information that you knew would take out your friends and family and then having to leak back enough to keep them from realising…all of us walking into an ambush we knew you had set up…you not knowing who to pray for.. us or them..."

Draco had stopped thrashing he was lying still and limp…. "Leave the past alone Ron" he whispered ... "What can this have to do with what I did?"

Ron stood, his huge frame looking even more threatening this usual to an already injured Draco. He leaned over and then crawled onto the bed, Draco eyes filled with fear, Ron was not a violent man, but everyone had their limit, Ron continued crawling but was careful not to touch Draco in any way. He placed a hand either side of Draco's head and his knees either side of his hips.

"It has everything to do with it love," he whispered viciously, bringing his lips level with Draco's ear by bending his elbows. Suddenly he sat up, now straddling Draco, who was paralysed and looked like a man awaiting the trap door in a gallows to open beneath his feet.

"Why don't you fight? You're scared, you have you wand right there in your pocket, and I hear your heart beating from here Draco, so why don't you do something? I'll tell you why you don't shall I? Because you want it….. Why haven't you healed those ribs? Your whole body was covered in bruises yesterday and I would bet my life that they've been hidden not healed like I know you could do with a flick of your wand. Every bruise is penance, every fracture an apology, if you magic them away what have you got but your conscious eating you alive, you want this….you crave it. Pain you can take….but real pain…when your soul aches…..you can't stand it….deny it Draco. God please deny it! its why you went to him isn't it? Tell me I'm not right! Please tell me I'm wrong because It would be easier to think that you were an evil prick than a …a…..a... mess….my mess... that I've left neglected too long…."

Draco's body was shaking gently beneath Ron's, tears streamed down his face, he pulled in a breath and words flew out of his mouth in a rush... like they had been sitting there waiting to get out for long time.

"I couldn't breathe…everything was perfect and I couldn't breathe Ron! Business taking off, name out of the gutter, house, fiancé! I wake up screaming at night, I wake up screaming into my soft cotton sheets, in my gorgeous home, in the arms of my faithful husband to be… screaming! Because I'm here and they're not!"

He paused, as if unsure how what he said next would be received

"I didn't plan it, you have to believe that I didn't plan it and it was only once! If you never forgive me as long as I live, you have to believe that"

Ron looked down at him for what seemed like an eternity then nodded curtly "I do"

Draco visibly relaxed "You don't know what it feels like, this guilt…this guilt that everyone insists that I don't deserve, you all say I'm good, I get a house and a ring and Christmas fucking dinner at the Weaslys and all I want is for someone to tear me apart, I swear I see them ever night, and they want me beaten and bloody….and I can't bear to see … see myself promise them I'll get straight on that and then wake up to you holding me, telling me you'll never let anything hurt me….…..I just needed to feel like…..like I'd been punished….I needed to feel it."

Ron shifted his weight and swung himself off Draco he looked like someone had knocked all the air out of him. He kneeled beside Draco and lifted his wand and pointed it at him… muttering words under his breath and watched as bruises blossomed over Draco's skin, his lip revealed itself to be badly split and his left eye worryingly swollen.

Ron shook his head in disgust "Christ Draco….he really fucked you up…did that not satisfy you enough! Did you have to leave them unhealed?"

Draco didn't answer but instead tried to roll onto his side clearly attempting to leave again. Ron grabbed his elbows and easily stopped him and pulled him roughly back to lying.

"Was it good?" he snarled "It's a cliché I know, but I have to know, did you scream his name like you scream mine? Did you rest your forehead against his chest after you came? Did you moan like the whore you are? "

Draco avoided his gaze and struggled against Ron's hold of his arm, he shook him off only to find both his wrists joined and held above his head by Ron's much larger hand and Ron was straddling him again, Draco nostrils flared s he started to hyperventilate beneath Ron's considerable mass.

"Ron stop….this isn't you …just let me up and I'll be gone I swear!" Draco pleaded desperately trying to fight Ron off him an impossible task.

"HOW DO YOU KNOW?" Ron screamed in rage at the man beneath him "How the fuck do you know it isn't me? you never gave me the bloody chance to show you, you just bottled it all up, drugged your self up each night to stop the screaming, smiled, laughed, pretended you were happy, then ran off to fucking Blaise and let him…..let him touch you….fuck you…beat you senseless….I had to come home to find my fiancé bleeding on the bathroom floor! Because he didn't trust me enough to understand … you could have died Draco he could have killed you, or you could have splinched yourself beyond repair because he didn't even bother to heal you before he kicked you out….do you understand? Do you understand that you could have died? I don't want you to leave you dumb fuck! I want you safe…safe with me!"

Ron was panting with rage and exertion, his arms quivering from the effort of holding Draco down and tears streaked his tan face he stared into the shell shocked face under him, silently begging him to speak, to say anything.

"I'm ….you know I …Ron…" Draco tried to convey what he wanted to say with his eyes as the words would not come.

Ron dipped his head swiftly and roughly captured Draco's damaged lips. Draco moaned loudly, pain and pleasure mixed together, Ron's tongue now delving into his mouth making him forget the circumstances and just enjoy the moment. He felt Ron's hands leave his wrists and travel down his lithe body, he stopped at his hips, pulling Draco's pelvis sharply up to grind against his Draco let out a moan and Ron grinned at the effect he had caused.

"Heal yourself Malfoy" Ron ordered sharply

Draco looked confused at the use of his family name and the harsh tone

"Now? What for…?"

Ron smirked "I'm about to do some more damage, a blank canvas would be nice"

Draco's heart raced, he could feel the blood rushing to his groin, Ron had never spoken to him like this before, he had always been gentle in bed, certainly passionate but never forceful. Taking a shuddering breath he reach into his jean pocket and took out his wand, he started the incantations that would fade his bruises, bring down the swelling around his eye and knit back together the cracks in his ribs. The magic flowed through him and he felt whole again, he sighed in relief and dropped his wand off the bed leaving him totally defenceless.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Long time between posts but third chapter already in the works, reviews appreciated. **

Draco hadn't slept in weeks, a couple of hours here and there when his body couldn't take it out any more and shutdown of its own accord but besides that he hadn't had a full night of rest since Ron had left. he was on a mission with Harry and Hermione, Usually Hermione kept out of the action, claiming she'd seen enough during the war to last her a life time, but this time they boys had begged her, it was dangerous and personal and they had wanted to do it together, and how they started is what Ron had said. they were going after the last few death eaters. they had been hunting them down for years, closing in on them for the past couple of months and finally it was time to close this chapter of their life, so off they went. Draco wasn't worried for Ron's safety, he knew Ron and Harry were the best at what they did and having Hermione with them meant that they would be unlikely to make a stupid mistake, no Draco wasn't worried... so why couldn't he sleep?

the truth was he never could, he'd been taking his own version of dreamless drought for the last four years, over use was usually dangerous but his potions company specialized in safe post war treatments as well as supplies for Mungos that could be safely used for prolonged periods of time, his public image couldn't be healthier, engaged to one of the golden trio, celebrated war hero for his services as double agent and now successfully developing treatments for people who still suffer after the war ... yes Draco Malfoy was one of the luckiest men alive...so..why couldn't he sleep?.

Without ron beside him it was impossible to take the required medicine to rest, having ron there ensured he would treat himself, he didn't want his fiance to worry, to be kept up with him, to know... that he was deeply unhappy, traumatized ..suffocating from the weight of the love and happiness he'd found in this post war world, in his new identity and status as good guy... staying awake made him feel better, torturing himself made him feel like he was suffering in someway for his sins, sins he was reminded of in those brief moments when he slipped into a deep but brief sleep and saw the faces of those he's wronged, he saw his father and aunts face's over and over as he raised his wand not in their defense in the final battle but against them, the surprise, the agony and in his aunts case, the rage... he'd feel the weight of Ginny's body in his arms as he tried desperately to get her out of the line of fire, it was three weeks before the end of the war, essential they said that he not blow his cover, they needed him at the end, a poor excuse for leaving Ginny lying in a war zone because he could no longer risk being seen helping her, she had just about made it, she wasn't fit to fight in the final battle because she had been so badly trampled and cursed. the worst, the most frequent, was seeing Ron bloodied and writhing on the floor in front of him, hearing his aunts high laugh from behind him as he crucioed him over and over again, it had always been a possibility, they had all discussed it, it was unanimously decided that they would take it and Draco would have to play along, his position was too important, but why did it have to be Ron three days before they had been in each others arms, a rare but much needed break from the war and the lies, and now he was torturing him for information that he already had and that Ron would never part with anyway, it wasn't the act, it was the reassurance in Ron's eyes, between each curse he'd lock eyes with Draco, silently letting him know that it was okay, that he could take it, almost encouraging him... that was Ron though, a hero, while Draco was a puppet, on both sides.

So that why was at 4am on a Friday morning Draco was wandering Diagon ally, he had been in the house for days, it was getting harder and harder to keep himself awake, he needed to be moving to feel the cold air on his skin. what he was doing was stupid, if Ron was here he would have killed him, Draco still had enemies, people he had betrayed who had avoided prison, or old school friends who had lost their parents or siblings due to Draco's treachery, he rarely went out at night, certainly not alone, not since Theo Nott had attacked him in Hogsmeade last year, but he hadn't be given much thought to any of his actions lately, he certainly hadn't considered his safety...why start now?

Draco was groggy, his eyelids were heavy, he put one foot in front of the other trudging forward to keep from collapsing, there was no way he could have known that he was being followed, not in his current state. there was no way he could have known that an old acquaintance was lurking in the shadows, waiting to get his revenge. when strong arms wrapped around him from behind he didn't even try to break free. Draco let himself be dragged into the dark doorway of a shop, he felt the pressure of a hand over his mouth and though how unnecessary that was, he wasn't going to scream. The body behind him was pressed flush against his back, in a sudden twist Draco found himself slammed against the wall and the body now toe to toe, chest to chest with him instead and his mouth now free to scream for help.

"Blaise...?" Draco said blearily, the slap landed quickly and cleanly across his face, he felt instantly awake, the sting reverberated through him and he let out a small gasp. "don't say my name you nasty little blood traitor" sneered Blaise, "couldn't believe my luck when I spotted you, what could a little do-gooder like you be doing out alone at this hour? eh?" before Draco could quip back Blaise had his hand wrapped around his throat, Draco could feel the bruises forming as the grip tightened, his body started to twitch and his hands started to scrabble against Blaises in an attempt to get oxygen, a reflex rather than a conscious effort, internally Draco was craving the oblivion he could feel starting to creep upon him, but just as his vision started to swim the hand left his white throat and he heard himself suck in lungfuls of air. the reprieve was short lived, Draco felt his mouth being blocked again but this time but Blaises lips, the kiss was brutal, hard and all teeth and tongue, Draco could hardly breath, he struggled shaking his head back and forth, a beating was one thing but Ron...but Ron didn't deserved to be dragged into this, Blaise pulled back only slightly his lips still grazing Dracos as he said "what's wrong Draco? Too good for me now? I remember when you used to beg me for it, let me guess you belong to Weasly now? does he know you as well as me? does he know just how to get you off? no no no...I bet he doesn't, you wouldn't tell him you like it rough would you? see the beauty of this? I get to fuck you, rough you up and you'll like it, I can't think of a sweeter revenge, I've been waiting for such a long time" Draco felt Blaise's hands reaching for his trousers, pulling at the belt, and roughly working Draco's shaft from the outside, his other hand was in Draco's hair, pulling his head sharply back as he sucked and nipped at the pale flesh he had exposed. Draco started moaning, he couldn't help it, this is what he needed, he hadn't felt so alive in such a long time, he needed to hurt, burn, ache, god he needed to feel like he was paying for it all, he had never had to face anyone before, anyone on the light side had instantly forgiven him, Ginny hugging him to her and telling him had done the right thing, Ron kissing him compassionately when they had finally broke free form the manor, telling him that he was sorry Draco had had to do that, not once had he been punished, Nott was the only who got close, Draco had froze, he saw the knife, had plenty of time to react but hadn't Ron had put himself between them, taken down Nott afterwards he had questioned Draco, why hadn't he moved, swung into action like Ron had seen him do so many times in the war? it was put down to shock...Draco knew better...he had wanted it, the sense of excitement as he saw the blade swing towards him was exciting , He knew Theo had lost his brother because Draco had led him into an ambush, he held that in his mind and willed his body to stay still and wait for a punishment that never arrived. But this time, there was no one there to stop it, Blaise had freed Draco from the confines of his pants and was pumping his cock painfully fast "you're already hard you little slut" he gloated "I knew you wouldn't have changed much"Draco moaned as Blaise violently twisted him in his hand before releasing his grip and forcing Draco to his knees, he pulled his cock from inside his robes and aimed his wand at Draco temple "you know what to do" Draco just stared, what was he doing, he could fight back he had his wand, he delayed too long Blaise kicked him squarely in the gut, Draco doubled over but Blaise pulled him back up by his hair, he landed another smack across Draco's face, he tasted the metallic tang of blood inside his mouth, he opened his mouth to spit but found it blocked as Blaise shoved himself into the tight hot opening, he gagged as Blaise thrust violently inside, he still had hold of Draco's hair twisted in a vice grip, Draco shuddered, it was a familiar feeling, Blaise and him had fucked for years, right up until his official defection, he had tried to call it off when he became involved with Ron but it looked too suspicious, and Blaise was hardly ever one to take no for an answer. he let his throat relax and took Blaise in all the way, enjoying the discomfort in his jaw, the difficulty breathing. Blaise was panting, groaning Draco's name, he was close, Draco could feel him tighten his fist in his hair, he slammed into Draco throat one final time and Draco tasted the bitter liquid flood his mouth, he spat it out coughing and breathing in deeply. The next kick caught him across the jaw, his body swung with the kick and he landed on his side in the street. he heard Blaise takes a few steps towards him, the heeled boot crushed down on his abdomen with brutal force, he felt the air rush out of him and he wanted to vomit, before he had a chance to think anymore about what he would do, he felt the strong arms wrap around him again, followed by the familiar sensation of being squeezed, they were apparating, his world was going black.

when he awoke he took a second to assess his situation, he was on a bed, a huge bed, he'd been on it before, they were in Blaise's family home, Draco assumed he had inherited it when his father had died last year. his wrists were bound to the bedpost as were his feet, he was shirtless but his trousers remain on if a little askew. Blaise was at the end of the bed, watching him, his body ached, it was no beyond Blaise to get in a few digs while he was out. he rolled his head and groaned, he hurt, he tensed his arms and legs pulling against the restraints, they held, he was in over his head but he felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest, he could feel fear curling in the pit of his belly. Blaise was making his way towards him.

Draco let out out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding as Blaise started to talk "what is this Draco? so good, so obliging, I expected a struggle, some begging , some tears as you thought of your poor betrayed weasel and the pain this would cause him and instead what we've got is silence, some moans and grunts, your clearly enjoying yourself, so maybe i'm being too easy on you"

Draco looked at Blaise properly, for the first time since he'd been grabbed, he looked at his face, so angry, hurt. Draco had betrayed him, lied to him over and over, been with him when he had no feelings for him, and fought against him in the final battle, he had even testified against him after the battle, the only reason Blaise was free was because it was clear his parents had pressured him, he had no choice, the reason he had served time was because Draco was held up as an example of what he could have done despite feeling he had no choice. Draco was haunted by his face along with some many others, he was glad it was Blaise finally giving him what he needed. "maybe you are, go ahead, give me what I deserved, I need it" Blaise grinned "that's all I ever wanted Draco, to give you what you needed" Draco closed his eyes and let the pain rain down on him, the relief, finally the relief came, he could finally feel the pain that had been haunting him for the last four years. as Blaise entered him he whimpered,Ron's face burned into his minds eye, paying for one set of sins had created another.


End file.
